Review: Ice Planet Barbarians by Ruby Dixon

ice planet barbariansReviewed by Shelly

If you’re in the mood for a fun, sci-fi read about a hero that has a tail, blue skin and horns like a ram (snicker snicker) this is for you. I’ve never heard of Ruby Dixon. I can’t even say that she was ever recommended to me by Goodreads (thanks for nothing GR), but this is entertainment that doesn’t even try to disguise itself as anything but (did you see the cover?). The first story in the Ice Planet Barbarians is a quick, laugh-out-loud read that I sped through it in a couple of hours.

Someone is going around kidnapping young women from Earth. That someone turns out to be little green aliens with overly large craniums, from what planet we don’t know yet, but we do know that they’re taking the women captive to sell them. Dixon’s world building is good, which might explain why I was cold just reading this story. After some trouble and being abandoned by the space aliens in a land far, far away, the captives are left on their own. Georgie’s one of the captives and she’s a bit of a firecracker (in a good way). After much dialogue between the small band of ladies, somehow Georgie gets elected as leader of the pack. Well, with power comes responsibility, and for Georgie that means going out into the world they’ve crashed landed on and getting help. She’s got one thing to do, just one thing. But this wouldn’t be interesting if all things went according to plan, now would it?

Tall, blue, with skin like suede, slightly Neanderthal-ish but completely delectable Vektal is out hunting one day when he runs across Georgie. And little does Vektal know that he would meet his mate on this day and he certainly didn’t expect it to be someone who skin so soft, white, with pale yucky white eyes. What’s he going to do with such a weak mate? Now here’s where the real fun starts – Georgie doesn’t speak the same language that Vektal speaks so the communication is a lot of me-Tarzan you-Jane kind of thing. And when it’s Vektal’s POV a–nd we hear what he’s hearing– the hilarity really starts. And Georgie… she’s just a hot mess stuck on a planet she doesn’t want to be on, talking to some blue guy who’s got a tongue with texture (yes, she knows exactly what this thing is good for). I mean, there were moments when I was laughing so hard I had to take a break. Are you with me so far?

I’m not going to give any spoilers here, just a feel of what’s going on, but let’s just say that Vektal’s a tactile kinda guy and the downtown action starts soon after they meet. It didn’t even faze me that that they got busy while Georgie was on a very specific life-saving mission (remember her one thing) because it’s all so ridiculous that I couldn’t not go with the flow. Dude’s got horns… come on!

Happy Reading Folks!

Rating: B

Click to purchase: Amazon

Ice Planet Barbarians
by Ruby Dixon
Release Date: April 3, 2015

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